Me and my dad we liked to hold hands. Small hand entwined around his thumbs, and I knew I was always safe with my hand in his. Me and my dad we liked to ride bikes, a little toddler on the seat attached to his rear wheel, a young child without the training wheels, pink and purple. And, me and my dad we liked to read books, long walks to the library to further my education, to grow my vocabulary and breathe in the smells. My dad liked to give gifts embellished with meaning, dream catchers, quality time, wisdom, and the occasional rabbits foot. Yes, rabbits foot. It is supposed to be lucky and he’d rather have me with luck then without anything because the world happens. And my dad liked donuts and orange juice on Wednesdays, he liked jokes, he wrote poems, he loved his family, he loved baseball. And my dad, I find myself walking everyday fulfilling his works just to walk with him, to feel closer to him, to LIVE him out. And every time this is I happen to find myself mourning again. It’s been 9 years since he died and I have never gotten over that quick surprise of… diabetes taking his life… so suddenly. And that is only to summarize… the complications that led to his surmise. My dual mourning his accompanied by a celebration of his life, because I know he’d not enjoy that I spend so much time being SAD… and that most of the time the unfairness of this tragedy still makes me mad and, still makes me doubt in the faith that I care so much about. And my dad, he counted money for a living. So every time I touch the money from the drawer at my job I think of him, and wonder what his strategy was to make that counting so much faster. And my dad, ate Swiss cake rolls, so… every once in a while I’ll go to the store just to stuff my mouth, thinking that… maybe he can taste it vicariously through me because it may seem crAZy but I do think angels walk among you and me, and my dad is definitely an angel. He watches my sisters and family and occasionally he will send an eagle down to say hi. So dad, my love for you is so great that I can never stop mourning or celebrating because yo created me and influenced me greatly that if not just a part of what I stand to be you are me. Rest in peace.
