With my hand I made you feel alive
In the meantime I was making myself die
Weighing the rocks in my chain linked metal boots
Sinking myself to the bottom of the moat
The one I built to keep the world out
To protect oneself and retain my life upon the shelf
Forgetting that my contents could rot
My time could no longer be bought
Mouth agape, eyes wide open, hair adrift
The water consuming my body so swift
Similar to the sinking of the titanic
The green mucus mold was wreaking havoc
The scent that spread each time I spoke
The gaseous poison I tried not to invoke
Passing my time pouring into you
With every sweat drop you were easy to subdue
My honest was sincere
Despite that my conscious was never near
Wasting myself, succumbing to the lies
Resurfacing things I’ve barely survived
Haunted, conflicted, and torn apart
The words I exhaled filled your heart
Breeding emotions never there
Miscarrying judgement with a blank stare
Drink my burdens and drown my joy
Playing your strings like a puppeteers toy
Intoxicating coma, I slip into a dream
We conclude in acts of sexuality
With every motion you grow faith
But retrospectively a piece of my breaks
Stifled, gripped, choked feelings strangled
Refusing to think from every angle
Burning my flesh with you in assist
Concealing the stench with a fruited mist
The consequences blinded to thee
Coating what coffee there was with cream
The company had, fed my hunger
Poking the veins with a complacent slumber
Though I was temporarily fulfilled
What I’d become vs wanted was revealed
My actions like a canoe carried on rivers course
I came to a fork and surrendered to remorse
Streams of wisdom rushing a flow
Nuclear chaos coated in snow
All I have are more apologies
Forgiveness is short but not so for me
However torturous and cruel
Please believe… Im sorry I used you.
